I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
