why didn't you poke me back
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
