So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
