Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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