I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
