I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
