why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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