before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
