so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
