And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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