before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
