He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize