No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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