I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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