Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
