at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
