My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
