my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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