No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
