Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Randomize
