She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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