my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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