my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
