We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
