im holly from the hills drunk
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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