I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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