I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
