Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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