Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Two words: blizzard sex
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
