i'm signing you up for texting rehab
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
