she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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