I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
