I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
