she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
