how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
