It's like God shit irony all over that family
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
