i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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