I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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