she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
