We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
