Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
