Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
