Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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