The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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