I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
