So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
