I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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