girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
