Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
