i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
