Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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