I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
