we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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