Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
