I must be too annoying 4 u.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
