Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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