peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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