I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
