So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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