PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
