How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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