half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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