I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize