The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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