you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
