tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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