I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize