She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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