I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
