This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
