That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
