There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
