If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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