i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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