you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
