D3 body, D1 cock
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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